While Armenians today struggle against their own government, lots of people over the Armenian-Turkey border with the conscience of being Armenians in their minds and pretending to be Muslims,  just want to speak out their being Armenians.

“I want to go to Yerevan one day, stand in the middle of a crowded place and scream out that I am Armenian, Armenian!”, says Sheref Kartal, a 50-year-old resident of Istanbul whoseroots go back to Ezbidar village of Sebastya(now Sivas).

Numerous researches about islamized Armenians refer to people like Sheref and Shirin Kartal brothers as hidden Armenians.

«When we were kids, there was a day before which we would be bathed, dressed in clean clothes, then we would dye eggs with peals of onion, then my grandma would take us to Saint Ohan church over the village,- Sheref tells.- When we asked what did it mean, we were replied that it was a celebration and nothing else».

Shirin in his mid sixties adds that though they are Muslims only by documents they have always lived as Armenians: «Easter has always been a sacred day for us and it still is».
Sighing, Sheref says that to be an Armenian in Anatolya, especially in Ezbidar, is quite difficult. «Our parents used to talk to each other in Armenian, and we noticed the language they spoke was different which we couldn’t understand,- he says,- but we were not allowed to speak Armenian, however, we knew we were Armenians since we were six».

Kartal brothers (in Turkish- eagles) are ancestors of Hayrapet family who were very honorable in Ezbidar. Before the republic was established, they changed their names into Zurnajyoghlus and later became Kartals in 1936.

The Hayrapets have been rich and famous (honorable) people. Sirin told that during the exile they rented a cab whilst others had to walk. ‘’Nevertheless, our property was robbed as well”.

Sheref adds that every summer he visits the village of his ancestors which became so alien to him and he can’t feel happy because every stone and every place in his village fills his heart with bad memories.

Shirin says that according to Turkey 1913 census, there were 457 families and 1500 population in their village. ‘’Only 17 families out of 457 were Turkish, not a single courd, the rest were Armenians” he says.

The elder Kartal says that the number of people living in Ezbidar, now renamed and grown into Aqynjylar town, has not yet increased.

There were three famous Armenian families in that village including Hayrapets, Tovmasyans who were Harapets’s relatives, and there were Chkhgirs as well.

Yeghia, Sheref’s grandfather, had been mobilized to Sarighamish war in 1913 but after 2 year he, as a refugee soldier, returned through mountains to his home village to discover that his family was exiled.

He went to search for his father, mother and brothers and found them in Qahta town, near Ady Yaman city, and in 1916 the whole family was back to Ezbidar again.

A doctor of Armenian origin and a foreigner nurse in Sebastia hospital supported them with a recommendation which they handed to the local governor and gained the right to stay in the village and avoid exile.

According to Shirin, a number of Armenian doctors have been massacred. “That doctor was a high-ranking military officer”, he says, “and he was from Hayrapet family and that nurse saved lives of huge number of Armenians’’.

“During the Grape holiday (an Armenian religious celebration), early in the morning the youngest girls of our village would take the best bunch of grapes to the wine-maker and then would return to the nunnery.- he tells,- My big mom met a young man there whose father was a respected pious priest. They were supposed to marry in spring. And my big mom drank glint wine with her fiancé that winter and everything was beautifully arranged”.

In April 1915, when people were not aware of anything, bad rumors started to spread suddenly. “There was a commotion amongst people: all the adult and young married men were gathered and killed,- Sheref tells,- then my big mom married Eghia, one of Hayrapet family’s son. She was senior of her husband and married him at his proposal”.

While Eghia’s two brothers became pilgrims and went to Istanbul to run a bakery in Ortakuoh district, his family possessed its properties back.

But in 1924 refugees coming from Balkan countries settled out in the village. Within the exchange program jointly implemented with Greece, thousands of Turks were allowed to immigrate.

“And in a week all our lands were taken to be given to those new refugees”,-Shirin tells,- and our established rules collapsed, and all our property was robbed from us and we even had not a single blanket”.

For 3-4 years, Eghia with his family lived in the barn of their neighbor Margret, who was married to a Turkish official. During that time they continued farming and compensated the land rent with harvest.

“But the most unbearable problem for them was that they cultivated their own soil which didn’t belong to them anymore”,- Shirin mentions.

From 1924 to 1943 they kept living like this when in 1943 the news was spread saying that positive changes were waiting for those Armenians who would convert into Muslims. ”Our family , having gone through lots of troubles, couldn’t cope with this one and converted to gain its lands back but it was in vain,- Shirin tells,- instead, we became Muslims”.

Shirin mentions that he is a retired military now and has many privileges.

«But if I convert into a Christian I will lose all of them,- he says,- however, I live as a Christian».

They had hardships after 1943 as well. «They called us gyavurs and insulted us, however, Hayrapets’ name was respected and hence, we got certain positive attitude toward us»,- Shirin says.

According to him, the most difficult concern for Kartals, and Armenians in general, was marriage. We had never had mixed marriages in our families before and we had always been seeking for people like us (meaning with Armenian origin).- Shirin mentions,- when in 1972 my son was born, I kept thinking of it. He studied in the university having Turkish girl friends and I always had a fear that he would marry a Turk one day».

Shirin’s senior son married an Armenian in Australia where he had gone by his father’s insistence to cut off the Turkish environment. He is a citizen of Australia now, and Shirin already has grandchildren.

Kartal brothers keep buying lands in their native Ezbidar so far, having their younger brother live there. “It is already 40-50 years that we buy our ancestor’s land,- Shirin says,- that is our grandfather’s heritage which we bring back again.’’

With a concerned impression on his face, Shirin mentions that the issue why his parents and grandfathers had been so much devoted to Ezbidar was a mystery for him and he couldn’t find the answer of it so far.

“We had quite many relatives in Istanbul but they stayed in Ezbidar,- he says,- and though all this doesn’t make any sense to me but my ancestors’ will was to keep an eye for our village, our land, our trees and we keep doing so.”

The youngest Kartal who doesn’t have high education, lives in Ezbidar now. «Because of devotion we had toward the village we left him there in order to take care of our land,- Shirin says,- to do farming, but, in fact, he is richer now than we»(two brothers smile).

Shirin says that the land doesn’t make sense to him; the matter concerns his father’s will.

«In 1970s we had a 40-50 square meters land and a Turkish man from Germany wanted to buy it,- he explains,- if we sold that land we would be able to buy another more valuable one in Istanbul but we didn’t since our grandfathers told us not to sell lands».

«Our family was really religious, and land is sacred for Gregorian Armenians»,- Sheref adds.

Shirin attended Ezbidar middle school, and left for Istanbul to go on studying and finished high education in 1967. He was in charge of technician in the army and having gone deep into that specialty, he became a military officer. Since 1994 he is a retired pensioner.

Sheref also went to Istanbul to get high education. He says that his wife identifies herself as a Turkish though she has Armenian origin. Immediately after Sheref’s response to the journalist’s question Shirin said that she was an Armenian.

Sheref and Shirin are Eghia’s only son’s children and Exghia had five daughters and one son. And Sefer had five heirs, three of them are sons, Shirin is the eldest and Sheref the youngest. In his turn, Shirin has two daughters and a son while Sheref has only two sons.

All the 85 members of Eghia’s family reside in Istanbul. According to Sheref, everybody is in touch with one another and 90 percent of them share their point of view.

Sheref’s senior son is already a first year university student, and he has been giving advice to his son concerning soul mate. «I will do my best in order my son not to marry a Turk: I want him to marry an Armenian or at least, somebody like us,- he says,- he is a very conscientious guy, and it is already in his conscience”.

He agrees that nobody can predict the future; nevertheless, he encourages his son to communicate with Armenians.

«On the second day of the university he saw a foreigner in the list of students and told me that there was a student who was not a Muslim, it means that his thoughts are going in this direction»,- Sheref adds.

Kartal brothers were telling the story of their family with great devotion saying that it brings happiness to them.

“We feel satisfaction when we speak about it,- Sheref emphasizes,- let everybody know that Hayrapets have always been and they will!”.